The rough return home after a mad hospital shift
Dou have lost patients as a nurse, some weeks you may have washed bodies more than once. Can I share something with you? Those times I would say a quick prayer, walk out of the room, close the door and move on to the next job. Prepare an IV antibiotic, casually chit chat to a relative, triage a patient for urinary symptoms. Everything that day would feel trivial and surreal.
Like any other nurse, psychologist, medical officer, first responder, I would finish my shift, pick up the kids, processing in 6 minutes the immensity of human emotions during a quick shower, and move on to cook dinner.
Do you want to know what I learned?
This is not a natural process for human beings.
Healthcare workers can often be in a state of heightened feeling within their bodies. They may lay awake at night with their brains on overdrive, reliving vivid memories of a scene. Sometimes we may text a colleague who would be also awake, unsurprisingly.
Neuroscience knows that exposure to traumatic events leave a trace or imprint in our cells, having the power to alter behavioral patterns as the nervous system responses, or neural pathways, are reorganized. American psychiatrist Dr Van Der Kolk studies have shown how traumatized children can develop similar behaviour of PTSD even if they live in safe homes. Nobody is immune to trauma.
What is vicarious trauma?
The term vicarious trauma, is the development of symptoms linked to trauma by secondary exposure. This is often seen in first responders, nurses and doctors, soldiers, and helping professions such as social workers.
There is a stacking effect on the mind, the soul and the body, for constantly witnessing chaotic situations. Repetitive road accidents, death, domestic violence or rape victims, or simply dealing daily with very sick patients, takes a toll on healthcare workers. We do not have time to process, whilst the brain cannot determine reality, as the hormone release of adrenaline is real.
Is vicarious trauma means I have PTSD?
No, not all caring professionals will develop PTSD, of course. Some may have developed a bigger window of tolerance over time, which is defined by how someone maintains functioning abilities under stress levels (like think clearly, make decisions, without overwhelm) a concept developed by Dr Dan Seigel. However, acknowledging the trauma is an essential step, as we begin to identify the effects on our home life, relationships, sleeping patterns, thinking patterns, we progress and can begin to develop better coping strategies.
Now What?
I encourage you my dear colleague, to truly listen how loud your mind may be on certain nights. How words spoken in the kitchen hit harder than expected. Or noticing the feeling in your gut when you want to lock the door behind you in the medication room to cry, as you gather yourself to face the floor for another 3 hours in the ER, OR, mental health clinic, you name it.
Be gentle on yourself, pause, and allow space for compassion. Like you would for a friend.
To find tools, acknowledge vicarious trauma, scaffolding strategies, and start to release it from your body and mind, read more on the blog.
We are here to help. We want to hear from you and your experience!
If you need immediate assistance, call LifeLine at 13 11 14 (in Australia, 24/7).
This blog is managed by individuals to open conversations about the wellbeing of healthcare workers, and is not monitored 24/7. We are not a psychology service nor urgent care for mental health emergencies. The information is only suggestive, it does not constitute formal expert advice. Please contact your general physician or your emergency department if you require immediate assistance. If you experience feelings or emotional distress you cannot manage alone, please seek help immediately, either call 000 or LifeLine 13 11 14 (in Australia).
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